Rachel perches on the bench

We had not seen the type of bench that the Zoo got for us, but it was made of sustainable materials and sourced in accordance with their conservation thinking.

It has been positioned overlooking the gorilla and orang utan islands, and faces our house which is 200 metres away. It was a lovely day and it was fairly quiet there. The bench is nice and sports a brass plaque, simply engraved “Precious Memories of Freddie Wills 19 March 2006 – 2 May 2007.”

It is a really nice quiet location that many people pass by. Whilst I was sitting on the bench Rachel noticed something rather strange. A few feet away, on the path sat a Peacock butterfly which was basking in the sun. It stayed there for a minute, enough time for me to get a close-up photograph, before fluttering off out of sight. Very strange. Those who have followed the ‘blog will have remembered the relevance of butterflies, as one appeared just after Fred died on the 2 May 2007. They have appeared in various situations since, even in the middle of winter.

As we set off back to the entrance a family came by and stopped and read the plaque. They noted that Freddie was just 13 months when he died, and went off explaining to their children, who were toddlers, what the bench was all about. Very sad in one way to hear strangers talking about our Fred in that way, but in another it was exactly why we wanted the bench.

Today would have been Frederick's second birthday. I remember who pleased we were two years ago when Fred arrived, and going to Sainsbury's to get some things we had forgotten.

I also whizzed over to Mothercare in Torquay to get a "Baby on Board" sticker for the car as I had always wanted one of them.

Last year we were in Ward 34 celebrating as best we could but until I knew all was clear it hung over us, the worry of what was to come, if anything. The staff got Fred some stuff and we received lots of cards, which went on the notice board in his cubicle.

This year, nothing. After getting up pottering Rachel and I decided to go out for a bit. We went to Paignton seafront and parked just by the place that we took Fred to on his first day at the beach. It was so hot then we had to keep him covered in sheets and parasols so he did not get to see the sun. It was too bright. My dad and his friend George popped over to see us as they were having a drink at the Club nearby.

Today the beach was empty except for a few dog walkers and pram pushers. And some seagulls.

We then went to the Zoo for a walk about. The bench is yet to arrive and I guess it must be imminent by now.

We received several messages during the day from well wishers, as well as some from the nurses at Bristol. That was nice.

Not much else happened other than Rachel and I met Hayley in town for some lunch and we headed home.

It is another day when we visit the midwife, over in Brixham. Today Emily came with us, as she is interested in getting into paediatric nursing or similar, so we hoped it may be of interest for her.

Rachels bloods, blood pressure and baby growth seems fine and again we heard baby's heartbeat on the doppler. The midwife gave another indication as to the baby's sex - a "train" sound if a boy and a "horse" if a girl. I am sure it is for entertainment value only.

Rachel is getting bigger now, and so I am stoking her up with soya beans, spinach, sprouts and Paignton cabbages, which she gratefully accepts (?)

Just under eight weeks to go now, and if Fred's arrival is anything to go by, it could be just over five weeks.

Yesterday we wandered the aisles of Mothercare and next week will enter the hallowed portals of Babies 'r' Us. Soon all Fred's stuff will be brought out and washed and dried. Conveniently our washing machine went to the "other side" today so that was helpful. Maybe Fred had a hand in making sure we got a new reliable one before baby arrives?

I am back in the office for just one day this week - tomorrow -and will then be off for another week using my annual leave up. A new leave-year approaches so I can take my time again with the new born.

On the 19 March, it would have been Fred's second birthday. Nearly a year ago, we celebrated on Ward 34 with a cake and presents from the staff, our relatives and others we did not know. Amazing how time and circumstance change.

Rachel and I are looking forward to meeting Fred's new brother or sister, and guess with more anniversaries approaching things will be a bit bumpy.

Not sure who reads this now, but it did its job during its time. The old site managed 110,000+ hits, and we only have 200 now. I am happy with that as we have nothing much more to say really but I enjoy updating this.

When baby is born I shall stop doing this one I think, and maybe do another on the we'un. Fred might feel a bit style-cramped I think.

Rachel and I had another visit to the midwife on Monday 25, this being 29 weeks I think. Again no possible problems evident other than R is a little larger but only by a tiny bit.

We had a few questions and will trot off to our next appointment, armed with a few more. Heard the heartbeat once again and that sounded alright.

We only live a few yards away from Paignton Zoo and have spent many an hour in there over the years, so became members some years ago. For the price of about three admission tickets you get all year round access to the zoo and get in free to other zoos such as Bristol and Newquay. Living so close means we can pop in for just a few minutes just for a wander when the weather is nice, or use the restaurant.

When we had to close Fred's savings accounts for tax reasons, we were having to think about where that money went. We did not want it to get consumed in our currents accounts so as to pay EDF or Council Tax, so put it aside for when we knew what to do with.

We approached the Zoo and asked whether we could have a memorial bench and plaque sited in the Zoo and their initial response is that they are asked this on many occasions and only do so if that person had an affinity with the Zoo or some connection. Luckily Fred lived some yards from the Zoo and we are Members too, so that was no problem, given that Fred would have been a regular customer anyway.

So that is sorted really, a bench is to go up near the Ape House and Lemur Wood and this overlooks the Gorilla and Orang Utan islands and lake. It is only 300 metres as the crow flies from our house, so is rather apt.

It will be one of the first benches in that area and is underneath the trees too, and I guess will be a stopping point for many a picnic by those using the Zoo.

It was nice to get a bench somewhere safe and a bit homely as some of the benches around here end up in the sea or used as firewood on the beaches by the local yoblets.

Once it is in position I will post a photograph.

We also have to arrange the headstone for Fred, and this is currently with the stone mason.

It is not that long until a year has passed since Fred was last with us, although we do get odd reminders of him quite unexpectedly. You may remember that just before Fred died a Red Admiral butterfly was hanging around the garden outside Fred's room at Exeter. I saw it, and noted you tend not to see as many butterflies around like when I was a child. A few minutes after Fred died, Rachel's mum June went outside and saw the butterfly.

Since then these butterflies turn up unexpectedly and we have seen more since Fred than in a long time. One was resting in the garage at home, one was found in the curtains at Rachels mum and dads and more recently one was flying around a charity shop in December looking for a way out on a very cold day.

My mum said recently that last year at around tea time a Red Admiral kept turning up to visit the herb bed, and did so for four or five evenings. Butterflies do not last live too long.

So next time you see a butterfly think of Fred.

It is Week 25 for Rachel and we had another visit to the ante-natal clinic in Brixham. All seems to be well in that respect and heard baby’s heart beat chugging away via the Doppler.

Took the day off today, as time can drift when waiting for an appointment at the hospital but we were in and out in fifteen minutes or so.

Rachel had a fair amount of work waiting for her at home so she headed back and I wandered in to town to get some fruit and veg, and go to the butcher.

The weather is rather crummy at the moment but it is nice to see the mornings and evenings getting lighter, so at least summer is on its way once more.

Went to the Civic Ball on Friday night, which was held at the Palace Hotel. As usual it is a great evening and the food and company excellent. The last time I went was in 2006 when Rachel was eight months pregnant with Freddie so she was not keen to go then. Again this year, late nights and alcohol are not on the menu for her, so I went with some colleagues. The four of us, Neil, Susanne and Sarah had a good night, though were probably amongst the youngest. Or they were.

No bad head in the morning either, so I must be getting sensible in my old age or more frugal at spending hotel wine prices.

Back to work tomorrow though. Rachel is behind me in the office typing yet another survey, which is good for her.