Rachel and I had another visit to the midwife on Monday 25, this being 29 weeks I think. Again no possible problems evident other than R is a little larger but only by a tiny bit.

We had a few questions and will trot off to our next appointment, armed with a few more. Heard the heartbeat once again and that sounded alright.

We only live a few yards away from Paignton Zoo and have spent many an hour in there over the years, so became members some years ago. For the price of about three admission tickets you get all year round access to the zoo and get in free to other zoos such as Bristol and Newquay. Living so close means we can pop in for just a few minutes just for a wander when the weather is nice, or use the restaurant.

When we had to close Fred's savings accounts for tax reasons, we were having to think about where that money went. We did not want it to get consumed in our currents accounts so as to pay EDF or Council Tax, so put it aside for when we knew what to do with.

We approached the Zoo and asked whether we could have a memorial bench and plaque sited in the Zoo and their initial response is that they are asked this on many occasions and only do so if that person had an affinity with the Zoo or some connection. Luckily Fred lived some yards from the Zoo and we are Members too, so that was no problem, given that Fred would have been a regular customer anyway.

So that is sorted really, a bench is to go up near the Ape House and Lemur Wood and this overlooks the Gorilla and Orang Utan islands and lake. It is only 300 metres as the crow flies from our house, so is rather apt.

It will be one of the first benches in that area and is underneath the trees too, and I guess will be a stopping point for many a picnic by those using the Zoo.

It was nice to get a bench somewhere safe and a bit homely as some of the benches around here end up in the sea or used as firewood on the beaches by the local yoblets.

Once it is in position I will post a photograph.

We also have to arrange the headstone for Fred, and this is currently with the stone mason.

It is not that long until a year has passed since Fred was last with us, although we do get odd reminders of him quite unexpectedly. You may remember that just before Fred died a Red Admiral butterfly was hanging around the garden outside Fred's room at Exeter. I saw it, and noted you tend not to see as many butterflies around like when I was a child. A few minutes after Fred died, Rachel's mum June went outside and saw the butterfly.

Since then these butterflies turn up unexpectedly and we have seen more since Fred than in a long time. One was resting in the garage at home, one was found in the curtains at Rachels mum and dads and more recently one was flying around a charity shop in December looking for a way out on a very cold day.

My mum said recently that last year at around tea time a Red Admiral kept turning up to visit the herb bed, and did so for four or five evenings. Butterflies do not last live too long.

So next time you see a butterfly think of Fred.

It is Week 25 for Rachel and we had another visit to the ante-natal clinic in Brixham. All seems to be well in that respect and heard baby’s heart beat chugging away via the Doppler.

Took the day off today, as time can drift when waiting for an appointment at the hospital but we were in and out in fifteen minutes or so.

Rachel had a fair amount of work waiting for her at home so she headed back and I wandered in to town to get some fruit and veg, and go to the butcher.

The weather is rather crummy at the moment but it is nice to see the mornings and evenings getting lighter, so at least summer is on its way once more.

Went to the Civic Ball on Friday night, which was held at the Palace Hotel. As usual it is a great evening and the food and company excellent. The last time I went was in 2006 when Rachel was eight months pregnant with Freddie so she was not keen to go then. Again this year, late nights and alcohol are not on the menu for her, so I went with some colleagues. The four of us, Neil, Susanne and Sarah had a good night, though were probably amongst the youngest. Or they were.

No bad head in the morning either, so I must be getting sensible in my old age or more frugal at spending hotel wine prices.

Back to work tomorrow though. Rachel is behind me in the office typing yet another survey, which is good for her.

Yesterday Rachel went for her 20 week scan at Torbay Hospital. Luckily our appointment was first thing, so we were seen five minutes earlier than planned.

The scan looked good with some clear images seen. Baby wriggled about alot and we got to see arms and legs and most of the other bits. The scan photograph was a good side profile, so that is now in Rachels handbag.

Also present was Rachel's mum, June. Following the scan we headed to the Bay View Restaurant at the hospital for their fry-up for £1.99. All quite deja vu....

So the end of 2007 is about to arrive, and therefore Rachel and I wish everyone who we have come in to contact over the last year (and before) a very happy new year.

Hopefully 2008 will bring good things for everyone.

We are staying in tonight (as we usually do) and the curry will commence soon but we trust that those taking part in late night revelry later on will do so sensibly.....

Last year I was couped up in Cubicle 5 on Ward 34, trying to get some sleep when the three nurses came in to watch Big Ben and the crowds at midnight.

Best wishes to you all,

Tim and Rachel and Bump

Early this morning I woke up several times as the wind was pretty fierce around here, but by 0400h is seemed totally quite again. Peering out it must have cleared for a bit as I caught a glimpse of ‘plane overhead.

Today I do the sponsored abseil down Bristol Royal Children’s Hospital where we spent so much of our time with Freddie. I am doing the abseil with three others – Charlotte and Emily Rowe and Hannah Smith. All of are from Paignton.

Neither Rachel or I could sleep so we woke early and decided to get on our way. At 0645h we left home to set off up the M5 on a well worn path back to Bristol. This is the first time we have been back and I guess many memories and other things will get in the way. I am fairly happy to return though maybe Rachel is not so keen. Either way, we have signed up to the abseil so cannot back out now. It is nice for me that she is coming.

It is dark when we leave and the storm has started again. There is heavy rain on the motorway, with a lot of surface water about causing a lot of spray. Driving is not too bad though as there is little traffic about, but on the way we pass the remains of three accidents that must have happened overnight.

It thankfully clears by the time we arrive, which is about 0900h. Once we parked the car (last time we had passes so it was easy) we trundle down St Michaels Hill. We used to take Fred down this route occasionally but it is very steep and the old flags make the pavement rather tricky with a pram on a 45° incline.

We arrive at the entrance and see the CLIC Sargent team setting up. We have a chat with one of the girls and head off to the canteen.

We do this with trepidation, as it all exactly as it was eight months ago, although then we had Fred with us of course. Same porters on the front desk. Same old staff training posters in the lobby and the animated Wallace and Gromit machines look to be out of order again.

Up in the lift to Level 5 – where Ward 34 is and where the canteen lies. The canteen has only a short queue and the same staff are at the counter. Same prices too of course.

At the head of the queue is the ward sister for W34 – Kate. She looks rather surprised to see us finding a table and chair and so we have a quick hug and chat. She is off to a meeting… same old… Great to see her though. We tell her that Rachel is expecting so that is another good thing, and so she heads off whilst we chat to the canteen staff.

They seem pleased to see us again and remark that I must have eaten many breakfasts in my time there. Rachel, wisely, used to keep the fry ups to a reasonable amount per week.

It still tastes the same so that is comforting. They said they remembered coming in to Freddie’s cubicle on Halloween doing Trick or Treat on the kids. They were wearing their chef’s whites which are actually marked black and white like a Friesian cow. Of course Fred had his on too at time and I thought it was nice for them to remember that, so long long ago.

As the time of the abseil came we went back down to the foyer and met first with Hannah and her parents and sister. It was quite sheltered in that part of the hospital but to look up and see the edifice we looked at each day in a different light was a bit strange for me.

Next to arrive was Charlotte and Emily, with Dawn and Paul, followed by my mum and dad and brother. Wayne, Adam and Tim appeared immediately afterwards so the crowd was set.

At 1015h we went of offload our sponsorship forms and monies in the CLIC gazebo and to register. Once done we were kitted out with the harness and with all dangly bits removed from our clothing we had a quick briefing.

Once strapped into our webbing pants Charlotte decided she really needed the loo, although this was not to happen for a long while much to her discomfort. Even the instructor changed the subject so as to avoid unbuckling her again.

We went up in the lift and emerged on to Level 7 where the Bone Marrow Transplant ward is. We spent just over a month on that ward, and made the journey up the service stairs to the flat roof a little sombre for me.

At the top is a glazed “watch tower” type structure and we watched the other abseilers prepare to go over the top. This was not necessarily a good idea, but gave us a chuckle at their facial expressions before we realised we would be there in a few minutes.

The call came for Charlotte and I to come out onto the flat roof and so we did, where two other instructors waited. It was fairly blustery up there and it had started to spit with rain a little. It was going to be a long day for them as there were 104 scheduled to do this and nearly all will be inexperienced I guess.

There is a low parapet wall of about 18” where you sit on, with your back to the drop whilst they clip you in and run through the routine once again. It all sounds rather simple at the time – too simple.

Then its up on your feet and stand upright on the parapet wall. I am dreadful at heights really, but I tried to think that if it were only a 10 foot drop I should still feel calm.

Lean back, soles on the coping stone, and gradually I am at 10°, then 20°, then 45° I reckon. The tricky bit is the first step off the top so you are then on a flat wall. Whoever laid the bricks did not do a good job as the joints are quite wonky.

Once done I hung around for a few seconds whilst Charlotte came over the edge, and we bumped our way (fairly gracefully) down. As I did so I could recognise the colour of each floor level which was helpful, if not a little sad.
A bit of chaotic leg waving near the bottom and back down to dry land.

It was great to see mum and dad and Rachel there and so I quickly de-harnessed myself to enjoy the occasion a bit more now. Shortly afterwards Hannah appeared in to view, and then settled herself into position on the wall. A bit of a wait and Emily appeared at the edge and came down alongside her.

Again they came down and one point I thought they were racing each other.
Once all back on the ground it was a great feeling and that we had managed to raise somewhere in the region of £1500.00 for CLIC. Bargain.

We got our t-shirts and champagne as we had hit the fund raising targets and headed off into the foyer to disperse.

Rachel and I then went up to W34 where we met Kate, Jamie, Helen and Rachel who were working. It was nice to speak with them. A few new faces of staff too.

The ward looked to be full as usual and the familiar noises came back to us. The crying children; someone having an NG tube poked up their nose and the general “grotty feeling” sounds from the patients. We caught a glimpse of a few parents in their rooms, incarcerated like we were as some appeared to be barrier nursed because of infection.

This time we were looking in and they looked out, their lives on hold I suspect – wondering who we were and what all the jollity and noise was about.

The weather had cleared on the way back and so the journey was more relaxed than the one a few hours earlier. We got home and decided to have a spot of late lunch in the zoo which was good. It was quite with only a few cars, and only us at one stage in the restaurant.

Time for a bath now I think, as my arms are aching a bit.

Since my last ‘blog I have tinkered with the site. At the moment I think about two people in the world know of its existence, which is at odds to my original one which received 110,000 page views during the ten months of postings.

Most of it is in place, with the exception of photographs. Hopefully they will be on soon.

What has happened since the 8 July, when I did my last proper posting?

The old site was temporarily disabled by the company that hosted the site, with promises that it would be “live” again soon. That was four months ago so I sadly have given up with the idea it will be in use again. The text is still available but they have not responded to my last couple of email.

I am back to work now full time and there have been a few changes there. We have gone from two enforcement officers to four so that was good. I did not get the senior post as I probably said, but that no longer matters.

It is good in a way to get back to some normality and a routine.

Rachel is self employed still, and decided not to go back to working in an office. She receives digital dictation via broadband, mainly specialising in surveyors reports, and so this means she can be flexible with hours of work to some extent.

We have not yet put the house on the market though we have finalised the web site we did for the house. Need to update things on that though.

Our news is that Rachel is expecting, with the baby due 18 May 2008. For the last few weeks she has been feeling really rotten and things have not been so good for her. It seems to be easing a bit now and hopefully she has turned the corner in some respects.

People have been offering all sorts of advice as to whether it is a boy or a girl so we will have to wait and see. I do not think we will find out the sex beforehand though.

Rachel is still doing her woodcarving and is still producing house signs to order, as well as doing more recreational work for herself. I have included her website in the Links section so take a look.

I am still pottering in the kitchen and have got myself into trouble recently with the various odours that eminate from there. As Rachel is feeling a bit delicate at times my frying of liver does not help, and nor does the roasting of pigeon and partridge. My idea of getting a stew going in the slow cooker did not go down well either, as obviously the cooking smells developed throughout the day, invading every nook and cranny in the house.

Rachel is today up at her mum and dads, up on the Moor, and will be out amongst the fields hopefully getting some fresh air. Her mum is coming down to stay for a few days this week which is nice.

Last nice I went with my friend Steve to Plymouth Pavilions to see “From the Jam.” This is a “new” band made from two of the original members of The Jam who split up years ago. I saw the Jam a few times in the past and were my favourite and have remained so to date, and to see them almost again as they were was great. The price of t-shirts have gone up though since I last bought one.

I have still have a collection of t-shirts from the 80’s although they no longer fit me strangely. At least the other people who came along last night have hung on to their old clothes, with a few mouldy parkas in the crowd.

Of course, a bite to eat in the Wetherspoons opposite meant that I maintained the tradition of eating the way we did in Bristol.

My pasta should be al dente in a moment so I shall try and post this…..

Many of you will know that when Freddie was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia on July 8 2006 I started to keep a daily 'blog so that friends, relatives and colleagues could follow our progress whilst we lived in Bristol during Freddie's treatment.

I continued the 'blog until exactly a year after he was admitted to the Bristol Royal Hospital for Children where his first two weeks were in the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU).

The 'blog was called "Get Well Freddie" then although changed to "We Love You Freddie" on the 13 April 2007 after we were told that the leukaemia had returned aggressively, and that he only had a few weeks to live.

After he passed away I made a few more entries, until the old 'blog site shut down for "maintenance." The suggestion was that the 'blog site would come back again but as four months have passed I decided to recreate the 'blog after requests from the many followers around the world.

The etxt is the same as before (just cut and pasted from my archive) and the photographs are similar. I am getting to grips with this 'blog site so it may take a while for me to find my way around. I have tried to make it look familiar to those who followed the 'blog first time around.

If you subscribe you will get an alert of some sorts letting you know I have posted another blog. If you have any comments then please let me know.