After a long break I managed to access this 'blog once again.....

I had spent a long while trying to access this 'blog but the main email I used to have is long gone.

So after some poking about I managed to recover the access.  My fear was that I would lose access to this page forever and it simply disappear once again.  Hopefully not.

I have over the last few years been editing the text of the blog into something less wieldy so it is easier to read.  I have also added various anecdotal tales of during and after Fred's life as everything slowly unfolded.  I have titled it "In The Custody Of Angels" - being a nod toward the nurses who cared for him and also where ever he is now.

Whether I will finish it I know not but it provided some focus for me particularly during lockdown.

Heidi and Wilf go from strength to strength.  Heidi is 13 now and at secondary school.  She really loves her art and not only excels at manual art but also digital art too.  Some of her work in that area are particularly amazing.

Wilf is approaching 11 early next year and again is loving his school and learning.  Bit of a sea change there he is good.  His wit and exceptional knowledge of various topics is quite astounding at times.

Anyway this is a test run really.  Funny because I had occasion to re-visit the site today after a long absence.  I had made contact with the Anthony Nolan Trust on a query and which led me back to here.

And what am I doing?  I was in local government until late 2016 where I changed direction and worked in two primary schools for 2 academic years and then was "called" back to local government.  Still living in Torbay I worked in my old home county of Somerset for over 2 years and now work in Greater London happily.  Working from home has its benefits and means I can go where the work is and the jobs are more varied and challenging.  My current job means that I can be in central London doing the sights and having a meal in the sun in Covent Garden on one day before getting up the following day to do a days work.

Nine years on...

Today is nine years on from “Day 1” which is when we arrived at Bristol Royal Children’s Hospital and we did not have a clue that 302 days later we would be in hospital still.

“Day 0” was yesterdays equivalent when we turned up at Torbay’s Louisa Carey Ward thinking not a lot was to happen after the GP’s referral.

Walking down the hill from dropping Heidi off at school this morning was a marked contrast to where we were at in 2006.  Today I wondered if this ‘blog had been deleted through inactivity and the passage of time and was pleased to still see it evident on the web, hence me posting on Face Book about how times fly.....

Heidi is seven now and doing very well at school.  She is looking forward to the summer holidays which loom, and going out cycling with Rachel.  I eventually got around to mending Heidi’s numerous punctures.  Even my bike has had new inner tubes this weekend and is ready to roll.

Wilf is 4 ½ now and is just getting to finish his pre-schooling next week.  He starts at Heidi’s school next term and yesterday went in for a couple of hours to see what it was like.  We did not get reports of any problems and it appears he palled up with two little ones – Danny and Charlie.  It will be very interesting to see how Wilf gets on at school as he is quite independent and spent a fair amount of time with Rachel who works from home.

Wilf is also to start very soon with a local child minder who lives in the village and he has taken a shine to her, and her little boy.  Hopefully this will give him more experience away from home with other people and give Rachel some more time back for herself.

We moved just over three years ago from Paignton to the village and the kids have a lovely garden in which to play safely.  This weekend saw them in the paddling pool with Emily most of the day whilst Rachel and I went out.  Wilf stayed in the longest and reluctantly got out later with chattering teeth.  A warm bath drew him out of his pool, back inside the house.

So much has happened in the last nine years in some ways and in other ways very little else has changed.

Heidi and Wilf regularly talk about Freddie and Wilf recognises his photograph. She regularly tells her school friends about him and seems comfortable with the whole scenario.  When my dad died in March of this year Heidi went out that evening and pointed up to Freddie’s twinkling star, and then saw another one, much brighter, and said “look Daddy – granddad is up there now!”

It has been some considerable time since I last posted an
entry on Fred’s blog. A friend of mine,
Katy Graham, is raising funds for CLIC by running the London marathon this year. Hopefully through people being more aware of
the great work CLIC does, it will mean that Katy can raise as much money as
possible – and spur her on to make the 26+ miles through the capital. That is some doing and good luck to her. I (and some other friends) abseiled down the children’s
hospital in Bristol although that only took a few minutes and I was aided
greatly by gravity, so no stamina or training was required, unlike a marathon.

Reading through some or all of my ‘blog should give you an
insight in to the good work that CLIC do for ordinary people, like our family,
who unexpectedly need their assistance at the drop of a hat. The ‘blog does go on a bit in places so it
may take a while to find the CLIC related information.

Fred would have been six this year in May and he would have
started school proper last year too. Time
has passed so quickly but it still seems like yesterday that Fred was with
us. His little grave in the church yard
in Chagford is regularly visited, trimmed and tidied up. In the spring the birds pick at the moss to
make their nests, although at the moment slugs and snails seem especially
prevalent in attacking the wreaths and flowers placed there. There is fox-run by the side of him, which
runs down on to the lane below. Over in
the distance you can see Castle Drogo across the valley so he has a good view
from there.

His little sister Heidi, who will be four in May, also takes
great pleasure in making sure her brothers windmills run smoothly. She started pre-school in September last year
and enjoys this very much for her 2 ½ days a week. Her learning and social skills have developed
well, even though at home she can be a real pest and somewhat domineering….. She is due to start school in September of
this year and she talks about Freddie a lot, even though she never met her
older brother, knowing who he is in the various photographs that we have around
the house, so picks she things up quietly.
She has got to an age where she has started asking more searching
questions about Fred so we will address those as they arise.

Since my last post Heidi and we have been joined by baby Wilfred
James, who was born on the 14 January 2011, weighing in at 9lb 10oz and as he
grows he bears many similarities to his late brother Fred. We chose the name
Wilf as it is a bit traditional, includes “Fred” in it and retains James as his
middle name. This relates to Rachel’s grandfather.

No doubt I will post another entry sometime soon, but as I
say, time flies all the quicker nowadays.

Yesterday would have been Fred’s third birthday.

We took an early trip up to Chagford, with the sun being rather bright and a heavy frost on the ground. We had a chat with Revd Gearing who conducted Fred’s funeral in May 2007, just as he was opening up the church.

He’d guessed it was an anniversary as we had a number of flowers to lay on his grave. Heidi mean while was pulling “Winston Churchill” faces at him. We trundled down to see Fred which is a bit difficult as the ground is uneven and Heidi’s pram isn’t really “terrain” at all.

The birds have been pinching moss of the grave, I suppose to build their little nests this time of year.

Once tidied up we headed off to Gran and Grandfer to say Hello, before driving down to South Petherton for the day to see Fred’s godmother, Frances. A lovely day with her, and Samuel and Daisy her two children, plus Shaun appeared too. I was a student with him many years ago in Newcastle and he’s now a nurse and who visited us whilst we lived in Bristol.

God bless you Freddie.

Over the Christmas break we visited Fred as we normally do, and I thought I'd post a photograph of his little headstone, taken on Boxing Day.

Thinking of you Freddie, on New Years Eve........ Daddy x

Today was a long, but lovely day, in that Rachel gave birth to Heidi Rachel Wills, weighing in at 8lb 8 1/2 oz. Born at Torbay Hospital at 1436h she shouted quite a bit. Heidi, not Rachel (who did really well of course).

It is sad in a way as I guess this will be the last time I ever put anything significant on here, as there isn't much to say really. I have though started a new 'blog just for Heidi as she desreves it I reckon: http://heidiwills.blogspot.com

Heidi will never meet her truly wonderful big brother. I am sure they would have looked after each other. I will maintain this 'blog as I don't want the hosts to think it is dormant in the future.

I wish you were with us Freddie, I really do.

Much love, your happy but very sad Daddy xxx

Today saw Rachel and I go to Torbay Hospital to see the registrar, anaesthetist and the midwife in preparation for tomorrows delivery.

We shall get there for 0800h and she is third on the list, so fingers crossed all will be well.

I'll probably do another post on this 'blog and see what happens.

Thanks